( I apologize if this isn't the right place for this)
I have a question and am looking for advice about a trait that I have noticed in myself.
I have long dealt with problems regarding porn and masturbation. I have, for the last year or so, but especially the last few month, be trying very hard to overcome them. During this time, I have begun to notice something about myself; namely, that I tend to check out mentally a lot.
What I mean by this is that my brains seems to stop making decisions, and just starts doing stuff based on habit. This is specifically in regards to looking at porn, though it does also happen in regards to other daily functions. I'll just start doing it without really thinking about and then when I "wake up" I find it next to impossible to stop.
I have been fortunate enough to catch myself earlier on in the process recently, and have been able to put a stop to it before it gets out of hand, but this honestly concerns me a bit. I have been striving to be a better Catholic, and I know it's the struggle and the drive to improve that's important, not actual success, but I always feel horrible during and after, and would really like to find a way to stop. (By during, I mean that my conscience will kick in and start telling me to stop, but my body won't listen)
I'm not looking to make excuses, and I am legitimately trying to stop this behavior, but I am curious about the third criteria for something to be considered a mortal sin: the engagement of the will (making a choice to do something). If anyone has any thoughts, or has been through anything similar, some advice would be greatly appreciated.
I have a question and am looking for advice about a trait that I have noticed in myself.
I have long dealt with problems regarding porn and masturbation. I have, for the last year or so, but especially the last few month, be trying very hard to overcome them. During this time, I have begun to notice something about myself; namely, that I tend to check out mentally a lot.
What I mean by this is that my brains seems to stop making decisions, and just starts doing stuff based on habit. This is specifically in regards to looking at porn, though it does also happen in regards to other daily functions. I'll just start doing it without really thinking about and then when I "wake up" I find it next to impossible to stop.
I have been fortunate enough to catch myself earlier on in the process recently, and have been able to put a stop to it before it gets out of hand, but this honestly concerns me a bit. I have been striving to be a better Catholic, and I know it's the struggle and the drive to improve that's important, not actual success, but I always feel horrible during and after, and would really like to find a way to stop. (By during, I mean that my conscience will kick in and start telling me to stop, but my body won't listen)
I'm not looking to make excuses, and I am legitimately trying to stop this behavior, but I am curious about the third criteria for something to be considered a mortal sin: the engagement of the will (making a choice to do something). If anyone has any thoughts, or has been through anything similar, some advice would be greatly appreciated.