Hi, I`m a 33 years old woman. For years I have tried to find a good husband without any results. I try to be a good Catholic and to follow the church`s rules and I attend mass each Sunday. As a single Catholic following the church`s rules I`m not allowed to masturbate without sinning, but I have problems with understanding how to have a normal sex drive without sinning. I must honestly say that when I don`t masturbate for months ( I try not to masturbate for years at all ) I`m getting so depressed and feel that I`m not a human beeing. I try to repress my sex drive and never think about the subject beacuse this is the only way I feel I can handle the problem. I have never watched porn and will never do. I hate it and this is not a problem for me at all but the problem when I don`t masturbate for a long time is that I get so depressed and I feel like a robot. I don`t feel that it`s so wrong in my own opinion because when a young person have done everything to find a good spouse ( which also probably would get rid of the problem bacause you would have a sex life ) what is the person suppose to do then without going mad? I feel I have given up a very important part in life ( to have a normal sex drive ) to follow the church`s rules. As I say I follow the church`s rules without masturbating but the price I pay is beeing depressed and feel like a robot. I have tried to pray more, to read the bible and other things that might help but it hasn`t worked. I can understand the church`s opinoion and logic about the subject but on the other side I feel it`s a very strict rule especially these days when the world has become more and more secular and more and more Catholic people have problems to find a good spouse. In my case I feel it would be ok to masturbate sometimes ( only if the pressure gets to strong so you almost get crazy ) to get rid of the enormous pressure that builds up in a young person with a normal sex drive. I really feel it would be healthy, now I just feel unhealthy. For me it`s kind of logic because we are created as sexual human beeings and when we don`t have a spouse where is the normal sexdrive suppose to go? I know it`s easy to say keep praying and believing and I do that but the price I pay is big mental problems. I must honestly say that when I was younger and masturbated sometimes I felt like kind of more alive and for sure more humanbeeing.I also notice that after I quited to masturbate my tolerance for other people and in general has become very low. Before I used to forgive much more and I feel that I was a better person. Now I feel like a worse person with depressions and low tolerance caused by the frustration. I ask myself: Is it better to be a smiley person who tries to be good and who has the ability to forgive people or is it better to follow the church`s rules but be much grumpy and have depressions? I`m sorry but I`m not so strong that I manage to be harmonic and follow the church`s rules about not to mastubate. Either I could masturbate when the pressure gets to strong and be more harmonic, or I don`t do it but I`m depressed and not harmonic. Now after I quited this habit for years after I found out it was a sin it has helped me in some ways but on the other hand it makes me feel like a machine which " does it`s work" ( in my case: to folow the church`s rules about not masturbating) . I havn`t started this thread to justify myself, I`m just saying what I feel would be a solution to have a more healthy sex drive, MAYBE. The best soultion I guess is to find a spouse but what about those young people who tried and havn`t found it? They are not allowed to have pre - marital sex and they can`t masturbate. How in the world is it possible to remain having a normal sex drive in this situation? It dosn`t sound logic for me as we are created sexual beeings. ..
↧