I heard a clear threat by someone passing by my window the night before last and I was already in deep despair and paranoia over something else and I just couldn't take it. I live downtown in a mixed race area where there is a fair amount of crime. I've been harrassed for being a "crazy white woman."
So I finally got up the nerve, actually I asked the Lord and, in His way with me He said DO IT. So I got out my govt pages and called the non-emergency number. I have expressed my concern here before about my fear of being "taken" for MH issues if I call the police.
The Lord was with me. It was clear that they had come with the intent or at least prepared to "remove me." But I prayed the Lord Jesus to be "a portion of my sanity" (I think I heard that on Catholic radio in Fla, and He was. The officer who entered was a black man, and I felt comfortable with him, and explained about my relationship with my husband and the cops in Fla and the Baker Act (the commitment proceeding there), and that police made me nervous, and we had an interesting (brief) discussion about race relations--I explained that the situation regarding that in the area of S. Fla where I had lived was just terrible, and he understood that I was paranoid for real reasons, and reassured me that race relations here are quite good.
I guess I kinda knew that, but I couldn't get over my 16-year Fla experience and knew my attitude was provoking the black women and men on the street.
So today I put on my Fla Catholic radio station online ALL DAY (it was so good to hear it again!) to block out the sound of conversations passing by my street level windows and desensitize myself.
At 6:00 p.m. the Fla station turns over to Hispanic on Sundays, so I located a Philadelphia Catholic radio station that I can't find on my car radio (the only available station is non-Catholic and has been depressing me) and found that they DO broadcast online and went straight into the middle of Mass. I prayed the prayer for when you can't receive the Lord Eucharistically and asked him to come into my heart spiritually...
For right now I am feeling much safer and more in control. I was so scared of the police after my experience in S. Fla that it was unbalancing me, when I was driving, for instance, and they are constantly on this street, it is a main thruway. It was a relief to make contact.
I was scared about having contacted community MH services, which I DO NOT TRUST, and feel safer about that too as a result.
Thank you for keeping me in your hearts and in your prayers. God Bless.
P.S. Happy Martin Luther King Day to all!
So I finally got up the nerve, actually I asked the Lord and, in His way with me He said DO IT. So I got out my govt pages and called the non-emergency number. I have expressed my concern here before about my fear of being "taken" for MH issues if I call the police.
The Lord was with me. It was clear that they had come with the intent or at least prepared to "remove me." But I prayed the Lord Jesus to be "a portion of my sanity" (I think I heard that on Catholic radio in Fla, and He was. The officer who entered was a black man, and I felt comfortable with him, and explained about my relationship with my husband and the cops in Fla and the Baker Act (the commitment proceeding there), and that police made me nervous, and we had an interesting (brief) discussion about race relations--I explained that the situation regarding that in the area of S. Fla where I had lived was just terrible, and he understood that I was paranoid for real reasons, and reassured me that race relations here are quite good.
I guess I kinda knew that, but I couldn't get over my 16-year Fla experience and knew my attitude was provoking the black women and men on the street.
So today I put on my Fla Catholic radio station online ALL DAY (it was so good to hear it again!) to block out the sound of conversations passing by my street level windows and desensitize myself.
At 6:00 p.m. the Fla station turns over to Hispanic on Sundays, so I located a Philadelphia Catholic radio station that I can't find on my car radio (the only available station is non-Catholic and has been depressing me) and found that they DO broadcast online and went straight into the middle of Mass. I prayed the prayer for when you can't receive the Lord Eucharistically and asked him to come into my heart spiritually...
For right now I am feeling much safer and more in control. I was so scared of the police after my experience in S. Fla that it was unbalancing me, when I was driving, for instance, and they are constantly on this street, it is a main thruway. It was a relief to make contact.
I was scared about having contacted community MH services, which I DO NOT TRUST, and feel safer about that too as a result.
Thank you for keeping me in your hearts and in your prayers. God Bless.
P.S. Happy Martin Luther King Day to all!