I attend a base chapel for Mass and a guy around my age (early 20's) just got stationed on base and has been attending for the last month. There's not more than two other young adults per week that attend besides us. He seems to be really nice and very devout (from the outside, of course not knowing him, I don't know more than that) but very, very quiet. And knowing several military kids and personnel, even the outgoing ones that are new to the area have a hard time finding good friends or things to do. I really want invite him to some things around the area, either young adult ministry events or other local venues.
But ...
1) I don't want to sound over eager because I tend to do that when people are new at church or when I was in high school (like say "we should hang out and you should come and do this or this or this!"). Some people actually appreciate being and/or need to be reached out to like that but others just end up thinking I'm a freak, which is okay :p But I don't want to scare him if I have the chance of reaching out.
2) I absolutely do not want him to think that I'm asking him out (and especially since we're the same age, it might get misconstrued). I just want to help. Especially since I don't know him, the topic of dating is not even on the table.
My question is: what is the line between a girl asking a guy to hang out vs. asking him out?
Let me say I'm very against girls asking guys out, so I have no intention of that. But oftentimes any hanging out with the opposite sex (unfortunately) can get misconstrued as more than just a friendly get together, especially since there are people who don't think it's possible to have just a friendship with a member of the opposite sex. Invites to group things (like a young adult group event) to me seem like an obvious okay and that there should really be no confusion on whether it's a friendly invite or a date but I don't know how guys really feel on that subject. And even if a guy asked me to hang out and get coffee I wouldn't see that as a date, but again, some people would at least see it as a casual date so I really don't to mislead him in any way.
So especially guys, opinions? :confused: Girls, I'd really like your opinions too though, especially if you've had personal experience with something similar! Thanks in advance!
But ...
1) I don't want to sound over eager because I tend to do that when people are new at church or when I was in high school (like say "we should hang out and you should come and do this or this or this!"). Some people actually appreciate being and/or need to be reached out to like that but others just end up thinking I'm a freak, which is okay :p But I don't want to scare him if I have the chance of reaching out.
2) I absolutely do not want him to think that I'm asking him out (and especially since we're the same age, it might get misconstrued). I just want to help. Especially since I don't know him, the topic of dating is not even on the table.
My question is: what is the line between a girl asking a guy to hang out vs. asking him out?
Let me say I'm very against girls asking guys out, so I have no intention of that. But oftentimes any hanging out with the opposite sex (unfortunately) can get misconstrued as more than just a friendly get together, especially since there are people who don't think it's possible to have just a friendship with a member of the opposite sex. Invites to group things (like a young adult group event) to me seem like an obvious okay and that there should really be no confusion on whether it's a friendly invite or a date but I don't know how guys really feel on that subject. And even if a guy asked me to hang out and get coffee I wouldn't see that as a date, but again, some people would at least see it as a casual date so I really don't to mislead him in any way.
So especially guys, opinions? :confused: Girls, I'd really like your opinions too though, especially if you've had personal experience with something similar! Thanks in advance!