My in-laws who I try very hard to exercise charity with - well, they're just doing my head in at the moment and if I just vent here as opposed to showing any bitterness or hostility outwardly towards them, well hopefully I'm not sinning... too much?
Brief synopsis - despite a strained relationship in the early years of our marriage, i have now battled hard since my re-conversion to the faith to have a superficially good relationship with them, I apologised for any hurt I might have caused them in the past, and since then, no matter how they behave, I outwardly show charity to them, visit regularly, remain polite, as another poster advised me... I KILL them with love!!
Anyway, one of their very annoying and ignorant habits, is bringing my 2 kids off places without asking first, not saying when they'll be back, not saying where they're going or anything. They basically ask the kids in front of me, (through the side window of our house - odd I know ) who are both under 5, "do you want to come for sweeties, etc, etc" Cue a stampede to the back door, no asking me if it's ok, no details as to where/when they'll be back, etc. And before I can say anything, the car is gone with kids. I expressed my views to my hubbie on this, but he wants to keep things sweet with them, unfortunately he is more worried about losing out on his inheritance than them disrespecting me. I am aware I am being treated like a doormat here, and while I don't have safety concerns with them in their company - I find the ignorance of the way they behave as just beyond belief.
They also have an unhealthy tendency to treat the kids as their own, for example - when I was in hospital having the last child, my MIL moved in to the house for a couple of days - uninvited - and started encouraging the kids to call her MAMA??? Her own children (my hubbie included) are very dysfunctional - they never visit their parents, never communicate with each other, and so I feel my MIL is seeing my family as her second chance or something. She has no social life whatsoever and when my kids aren't there, she gets very depressed. Yet she feels she has the right to give me regular put-downs about the way I bring my kids up in the faith. I feel like saying to her, well maybe if you had put God at the heart of your family, you wouldn't have such problems in your own. That's not very charitable of me I know so I've obviously never said it out loud, I just crack my jaw smiling sweetly through gritted teeth.
Yesterday I was on the way out the door to church with them when FIL arrived promising them all sorts of goodies - ignoring the fact we were already obviously going on an outing - and that was the last I saw of them til late evening. They came back and laughed at how the kids had said "praying is boring, we had much more fun than with you".
My blood vessels are near bursting point.I just needed to vent here I guess. Apologies. I am trying so hard to find the path of holiness in all of this, and Jesus is testing me more and more. Vent over.
Brief synopsis - despite a strained relationship in the early years of our marriage, i have now battled hard since my re-conversion to the faith to have a superficially good relationship with them, I apologised for any hurt I might have caused them in the past, and since then, no matter how they behave, I outwardly show charity to them, visit regularly, remain polite, as another poster advised me... I KILL them with love!!
Anyway, one of their very annoying and ignorant habits, is bringing my 2 kids off places without asking first, not saying when they'll be back, not saying where they're going or anything. They basically ask the kids in front of me, (through the side window of our house - odd I know ) who are both under 5, "do you want to come for sweeties, etc, etc" Cue a stampede to the back door, no asking me if it's ok, no details as to where/when they'll be back, etc. And before I can say anything, the car is gone with kids. I expressed my views to my hubbie on this, but he wants to keep things sweet with them, unfortunately he is more worried about losing out on his inheritance than them disrespecting me. I am aware I am being treated like a doormat here, and while I don't have safety concerns with them in their company - I find the ignorance of the way they behave as just beyond belief.
They also have an unhealthy tendency to treat the kids as their own, for example - when I was in hospital having the last child, my MIL moved in to the house for a couple of days - uninvited - and started encouraging the kids to call her MAMA??? Her own children (my hubbie included) are very dysfunctional - they never visit their parents, never communicate with each other, and so I feel my MIL is seeing my family as her second chance or something. She has no social life whatsoever and when my kids aren't there, she gets very depressed. Yet she feels she has the right to give me regular put-downs about the way I bring my kids up in the faith. I feel like saying to her, well maybe if you had put God at the heart of your family, you wouldn't have such problems in your own. That's not very charitable of me I know so I've obviously never said it out loud, I just crack my jaw smiling sweetly through gritted teeth.
Yesterday I was on the way out the door to church with them when FIL arrived promising them all sorts of goodies - ignoring the fact we were already obviously going on an outing - and that was the last I saw of them til late evening. They came back and laughed at how the kids had said "praying is boring, we had much more fun than with you".
My blood vessels are near bursting point.I just needed to vent here I guess. Apologies. I am trying so hard to find the path of holiness in all of this, and Jesus is testing me more and more. Vent over.