I'm finding myself in a position where I'm going to have to rely on some combination of loans, charity, and whatever government benefits I can get, in order to get by. It's a long story, but the short version is that I've been caught in an escalating mental health problem that's proven fantastically difficult to get treatment for - especially since even with insurance I end up needing a lot of things that aren't covered, assuming they're even available in the area.
I think I have the financial side worked out as best I can, but...I'm struggling with handling the guilt and shame of it. I was always taught that "real adults" don't rely on others to get buy. That no matter what, if you just work harder you can manage it. I hear even now, day in and day out, that government programs are only for people who are too lazy to do real work. And good adults with middle-class backgrounds shouldn't be relying on charity. And no one should take on debt or loans, because it's just a cycle to ruining your life once you start.
I'm ashamed. I feel like a failure. And I know that no matter what's going on, my family and the people I grew up with are going to see me as a failure. I feel guilty about accepting money I haven't earned. I feel like I'm just being lazy, even when I'm exhausted - maybe if I worked harder I'd stop feeling so exhausted. I was always taught it was wrong, unBiblical, to accept charity, or to give out help to someone who wasn't working. How do I deal with this now?
I think I have the financial side worked out as best I can, but...I'm struggling with handling the guilt and shame of it. I was always taught that "real adults" don't rely on others to get buy. That no matter what, if you just work harder you can manage it. I hear even now, day in and day out, that government programs are only for people who are too lazy to do real work. And good adults with middle-class backgrounds shouldn't be relying on charity. And no one should take on debt or loans, because it's just a cycle to ruining your life once you start.
I'm ashamed. I feel like a failure. And I know that no matter what's going on, my family and the people I grew up with are going to see me as a failure. I feel guilty about accepting money I haven't earned. I feel like I'm just being lazy, even when I'm exhausted - maybe if I worked harder I'd stop feeling so exhausted. I was always taught it was wrong, unBiblical, to accept charity, or to give out help to someone who wasn't working. How do I deal with this now?