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Struggle with my Faith

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Dear Brothers and Sisters in the SACRED HEART

I ask your help and prayers on this difficult matter.

I have always had such a strong and zealous love for the Faith (As most of my threads will attest, perhaps at times, too much). For the past few weeks, I have been struggling though. For example, when I Altar Serve, I would mostly be able to easily picture Our LORD in the BLESSED SACRAMENT because HE IS. However now, I get these doubtful thoughts that I try to shake off. I also get them when I recieve HIM. I get these terrible doubtful thoughts. I then also have struggles with praying etc. For the past few months, It has been one of hell for me. I have been through bouts of dryness, severe temptations to despair, severe scrupulosity, anxiety etc. Now this is all beginning to wear down on me. I don't know how much longer I can hold. I don't want to become an atheist (I get nightmares just thinking about it) :eek::eek::eek: . I am so terrified of losing the Faith that I so boldy cherised and I dont want to become an athiest. I would rather die long and hard than lose my Faith.

What is doing this?

What is wrong with me??

Why won't this all just stop!!

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